How does a Gen x mom teach a Gen Z kid to navigate participatory media?

In 1981, my Saturdays were spent choreographing a dance routine to the latest Olivia Newton-John song with my bff in our basement, in preparation for the live performance that evening before our 4 ½ fans (my 5 yr old brother only gets a half credit).  In my basement this weekend, 40 years later, my nieces mimicked a dance routine from Youtube and posted the recording on TikTok. They instantly had 40+ likes and even more views from people they have never met, presumably from around the world.   While my friend and I sought to demonstrate our enormous dance talent by creating a dance like none before us, my nieces were content mimicking a dance, as their motivation was the social community response to the post. There is a massive shift in our culture from individual expression to community involvement (Jenkins, 2009). This shift is called “participatory media culture” and it is our jobs to help our teens be literate in it. 

TikTok dance videos gone viral

As a mom I have often felt like I am walking through parenting with a blindfold on.  This is especially true when it comes to technology and digital media. I have mastered potty training and the terrible 2’s, algebra homework and girl drama.  So what makes training teens to successfully navigate the participatory media culture of today so difficult for us Gen x-ers?

1. The inner mama-bear

There is nothing that gets a mom more riled up than feeling like someone is hurting her cubs.  We hear all sorts of horror stories of misuse of technology ranging from cyber bullying to screen addiction. It’s terrifying to think our babies could be facing this type of silent harm and we may never know about. The fear of participatory media is real for parents. We will do anything to protect our babies.

2. Teens are ALWAYS right

When it comes to media, it is highly likely that your teen knows more than you. 69% teens use snapchat while < 21.5% of adults use this communication app. On average, teens spend 9 hours a day online enabling them to develop a strong skill set for media use. It’s tempting for adults to shy away from teaching about what we don’t understand. When it comes to digital and social media, we often don’t know, what we don’t know. Plus they don’t usually think we have anything to teach them.

3. “You have a friend request”

The quest for more followers and friends is a daily part of teen’s lives. Unlike the sports team or the cast of the high school musical, an entire community is created that parents have no contact with and no ability to interact with. Social interaction happens in virtual communities with little accountability and little ability for parental supervision or influence. Limited access to the community poses an interesting challenge to parents.

4. Now you see me, now you don’t!

It’s a normal developmental part of adolescence to desire privacy and seek independence. So while my parents were able to quietly observe my interactions with my peers during a party in the basement, it is often impossible to observe teens’ interactions with their peeps on social media.  Whether this is because the Snaps instantly disappear or they have a top secret Finsta account, teens know how to avoid the parental sleuth. It takes much more intentionality on our part. Walking the ethical fine line between respecting privacy and monitoring online safety is very challenging. 

These are just some of the reasons we have our work cut out for us in training Gen Z to be literate in the participatory culture of media that they experience everyday. 

So where should we start? Here are some tips for teaching about participatory media use in your home: 

1. Invest in core literacy of reading and writing. These are basic skills are vital to digital and media literacy as well. 
2. Teens need to be accomplished researchers. Help them know the steps to understanding if information communicated online is accurate. 
3. Establish clear boundaries for media use while empowering exploration. The opportunity to practice supervised media use is invaluable. 
4. Teach children how to communicate online and with whom. 

Here’s another  ten tips for talking to your child about their use of social media and the internet.

What other tips do you have to share about teaching kids about participatory media? Are there any lessons you have learned the hard way you would be willing to share? Things you tried that worked really well?

References : 

Jenkins, H. (2009). Confronting the Challenges of Participatory Culture: Media Education for the 21st Century.